Hair Loss and Sexual Intimacy After Breast Cancer

Stef Woods of CityGirlBlogs.com talks about hair loss during chemotherapy and the effect it can have on a woman’s sex life during and after breast cancer treatment. Watch the video for tips on how to feel sexy during chemotherapy treatment.

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Stef Woods: The hair issue is such a personal issue and it affects everyone differently, but it affects every breast cancer patient who has to go through chemo. Some people feel comfortable bald, some people only feel comfortable with a wig, some people don’t like their short hair, some people love it. It’s so personal so I think it’s owning and processing your feelings. And it’s okay to grieve. It’s so tough to be angry at cancer, because it’s not a tangible target. You can’t fight cancer. You can fight it during treatment, but being angry seems so amorphous. But you need to do that. You need to grieve the losses that you’re experiencing, whether you’re losing your hair or losing your breasts, and then I think you need to work. It’s not easy to find what makes you sexy, and these sociological factors. We’re told long hair is sexy and we’re told curves and breasts are sexy, so at times when you feel the weakest, think about what you can do to get your groove back, to increase your mojo a little bit. And maybe it’s putting on something that makes you feel a little sexier.

So, when I lost the hair, I rocked the bald but I always wore heels and I made sure my makeup and nails were done a certain way. But wait then I lost my eyelashes, so suddenly my eyeliner got bigger and bigger. And then my nails started peeling back. So I just kept trying to find something that made me feel sexy when I walked out of the house. I noticed during treatment I wasn’t dressing the way I would normally dress, because there was a day when I would never leave the house without makeup. And then it came to chemo, and I was like “Oh who cares, it’s chemo” or “I have short hair, I’m not going to like it anyway.”  Then I realized, wait a minute, I need to present myself the way I’ve always presented myself, because that makes me feel better about me. And when you’re feeling more confident, that will translate into how you interact with your partner and your enjoyment sexually. So much of orgasms for women is all in the head. Your love, the guy your with isn’t looking at you thinking “Oh there’s no hair where there was before” or “Oh wait her breasts have changed.” They’re looking at the connection, the physical connection, and try to focus on that and on what makes you feel better about yourself because that will not only make a difference in the bedroom, but it will make a difference outside the bedroom.

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